Hello lovely readers. How does this post find you? Happy, healthy, restless, hungry, annoyed, overjoyed or all of the above? I’m not too sure where I’m going with this post nor where it will end up so I will keep typing and let it flow.
This has been my life in the last few months. I moved out of a basement suite I had with my daughter for 7 years to a beautiful apartment downtown with my best friend/other half/partner (I’ll just call him BAE as he despises it ;)).
Yes, this is our view…amazing, non?
Even though all this was what I had always wanted, I went through some unexpected emotions of grief, loss and sadness (BAE would throw cranky in that list too :)) At first, we were so busy looking for an apartment, viewing potentials, finding the “ONE,” packing, unpacking, hosting visitors that it didn’t really sink in .. then BAM.. I went to my old place one last time and as I was returning the key, broke down. Why in the world was this happening? I was grieving. My life as I knew it was changing. I knew for the better, but changing nonetheless.
It’s funny and oh so frustrating when I’m in the thick of everything, overcome with emotions, I can’t see or feel what’s happening. It’s not until after the fact, when things settle, and I begin to process those feelings is when the picture becomes clear. Throw on top of that that I’m an empath and at times IT’S TOO F’ING MUCH!!!
I’m such a creature of habit. I like my routine as it’s predictable and I get all out of sorts if I am forced outside my comfort zone. What a deep and profound learning. Whatever old ways of being/habits/routines that I had adopted for all those years was no longer needed. It didn’t serve me anymore nor did it serve my daughter, my family.
What a gift! I’m 35 and just starting to get to know the piece of my being that resists (and despises) change. I’m certain that it is my inner child, stubborn as ever, but very much wanting to be heard. With this knowledge, I’ve promised myself to continue to push her boundaries and put her outside of her comfort zone. She’s still kicking and screaming but each time the boundary is pushed, it gets a little easier.
I do thank my best friend, BAE, for all the learnings and growings and most of all all the laughs. I so look forward to enjoying the next chapter and being present with my awesome family.
I hope that you took something from this and that it causes a moment (or two/three) or self reflection. What are you resisting right now? Is it on a small scale or is it something much larger? Remember to pay attention to your beautiful self.
I wish you all the blessings you deserve.